"I hate to say it...but it's a lost cause"

I was at the bowling alley last night, bowling poorly (as usual) while the one other girl aside from me and 4 male friends of mine were doing exceptionally well. They were bowling strikes left and right, or at least easily picking up the spare. I, however, continued to watch my perfectly turquoise colored ball roll gracefully into the gutter...over and over again. The boys gave me tips throughout the game: "let go of the ball from a straight angle!", "stand more to the right", etc. Finally, one of the guys we were with said to the group, "I hate to say it, but I think it's a lost cause." My girlfriend looked at me and said, "Isn't it sad, not that you're losing, but that you're expected to because you're a girl?"

I spent some time letting that question roll around in my mind. It made me think of Gil and Vazquez's (1997) piece about expected roles of the Latina woman. Do these harsh demands and familial expectations go beyond cultural values? Is it just the way of the world? And, unfortunately, in my opinion I am afraid they do. It seems that we, as women, are expected to do "boy" things poorly. If we are crappy in sports, it's expected. If we can't fix our cars, it's expected. If we can't lift a heavy box, it's expected. If we can't old our liquor, it's expected. I could potentially go on forever, but I won't. It is not that these unfortunate roles have stumbled upon us as women, like a set of strict societal laws we can't overcome. Instead, I propose that we reinforce such roles and expectations every single day. Television and movies continue to perpetuate this cycle, as well. Today, I walked outside to find my car had been broken into. The dirty thieves cut my battery wires, assuming I had an alarm to protect my 12" speaker behind my passenger seat. That must have been what they saw, because my 2002 Dodge Ram pickup doesn't exactly look like a desirable vehicle to break into. In the process of stealing my valuables, they sure did do a job on old Sam (Sam is the name of my truck...yes, I am perpetuating the cycle by naming my truck after a prominently male name). In any case, I immediately called my brother-in-law, assuming, as a man, he would know how to repair my battery. He did, and I am so grateful. But I realized that I, without thinking twice, began to scan through my mental file folder of the men in my life that I could call. After watching the process of welding the wires of my battery back together, I decided that it was not that tough of a task after all. I am now devoted to learning how to fix such "car-like" problems.

Behm-Morawirz and Mastro (2008) examined portrayals of women in teen movies and discovered that these movies (e.g. Mean Girls, Bring it On, Clueless, Save the Last Dance, etc.) promoted negative stereotypes of women, specifically dealing with gender roles and female behavior in friendships. Apparently, women are seen as much more aggressive than their male counter-parts. This finding disturbed me, considering we seem to value men as the strong, aggressive type in our society. So, it's okay for men, but not for women? Are we always supposed to be seen as weak, clueless (about cars and the like) individuals that need men to balance us out and carry us through the trials and tribulations of this life? I don't really think so. However, our consistent use of placing females in such stereotypical roles only perpetuates the "reality" that we have constructed all on our own. Can we break the tradition? Will we ever get to a point of equality? Probably not. And that's okay. The only conclusion I can draw from these unfortunate pressures and unrealistic images is that applauding those who break the mold is an important component in our constant struggle to break the chains of traditional female roles.